Gheni Platenburg Ph.D.
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Dating After 30-Are We Doing This Or Not? 

11/9/2015

1 Comment

 
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​ As I scrolled through social media this morning, I came across the above meme.

 It was one of those viral memes that gets shared and altered among the masses.

You don't know who created it (Sorry, I'm not sure to whom I should attribute credit) or even why they created it.

All you know is it resonates with you and is probably applicable to some aspect of your life.

In my case, the reason is I am 30 and single. ***Inserts dark, scary music**

To clarify, I am dating someone exclusively, but I’m not married.

So, technically, I’m still single.

According to society, that’s a scary situation.

I regularly come across articles addressing the issue.


http://www.jconline.com/story/opinion/columnists/2014/10/13/new-jim-crow-marriage-black-women/17217909/

http://www.brookings.edu/blogs/social-mobility-memos/posts/2015/04/09-race-assortative-mating-inequality-reeves

http://hellobeautiful.com/2015/04/24/why-black-women-are-single/

http://www.essence.com/2014/04/03/why-it-so-hard-black-women-find-love-they-deserve
 
http://verysmartbrothas.com/the-10-real-reasons-why-so-many-black-women-are-so-damn-single/

http://www.thematchmakingduo.com/the-9-biggest-complaints-from-single-black-women/

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/single-black-females/story?id=9395275



 I’ve even covered the subject myself.

https://www.victoriaadvocate.com/news/2011/mar/13/gp_livingsingle_031411_121216/


To summarize, the perception is times are tough in the love department for single, black women. 


​





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​For those of us who are actively dating somebody or several somebodies, the pressure from friends, family and society can sometimes be intense to “put a ring on it.” 
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For some women, this pressure causes them to remain in relationships and situations (because some people have never made things “official” and have opted to just “talk” for years on end)  out of fear of resuming their search among the hypothetical plenty of fish in the sea. 
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For others who are in good relationships with glimmers of future promise, the pressure can be too much to bear.

​It can cause rifts where there previously were none and impede the natural, relaxed progression of love then marriage.
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Like the meme says, though, “[we] got shit to do.”

We women are busy and don’t have time to waste on someone who does not share our relationship goals.

 However, based on my experiences and the experiences of many other women, it seems some men don’t share that same aversion to wasted time. 
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Some treat conversations of committing to dating monogamously or even marriage like a nightmare!

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Nonetheless, it is important to have conversations with the person you are dating to make sure you both are on the same page.
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After all, we women are busy and have things to do (work; school; buy a house; get our nails done; give birth).  
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Time is a precious commodity.
​
Let’s not waste it on people and things that don’t meet our wants and needs.

Disclaimer: By no means am I a relationship guru or advice columnist.  I’m just someone who likes discussing the news of the day and what is happening in the lives of myself and others.
 
I’d love to hear your input! Guys are welcome! 








GIF Sources:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2lCXLZlurs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAaPBxBxaV8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AQ-_c8LdM0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfaiwjyHy9M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr4flKD35c8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muoOd_urAPU
www.picslist.com


1 Comment
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2/28/2019 03:25:34 pm

One thing that is very hard to answer is the question, what motivates us to do anything. Well, sure, it is easy to spout some random thing. However, how can we truly know if it is real. The things that motivate us is not something that we could always tell, sometimes it is just a random thing. I, personally, do not know what motivates me to live anymore. It is not a depressing thing, I am just at a complete lost.

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    30-year-old freelance journalist, Ph.D. candidate in media and public affairs, and mass communication instructor at LSU 

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